The Telephone That Tore Us Aside
Night time after evening I went to work within the pit, a spot the place opera’s most typical theme — love gone improper — continually unfolded onstage. Leonora chooses poison over a compelled marriage. Madama Butterfly chooses seppuku over spousal humiliation. Senta throws herself into the ocean as her Flying Dutchman departs.
The tales didn’t assist, however the music did.
One of many operas in our rotation was “Der Rosenkavalier.” Close to the tip of the opera, the Marschallin and the 2 younger lovers come collectively to sing about ageing, love and loss. Their voices weave collectively and overlap; the interior traces, struggling to be heard, break by means of and cross each other. Their our bodies resonate collectively.
Within the trio’s ultimate moments — when their voices are hovering, every stretching to achieve greater than the others’ — there may be a lot resistance and battle between them that we ache for decision. When the music lastly resolves, so do the relationships, and the older lady, with quiet dignity, steps apart.
Over time, grief, like music, modulates. A divorced couple is fortunate if every particular person finds a separate peace. Concord, although, requires two voices.
Within the early years after our divorce, my ex and I nonetheless talked each day. We couldn’t let go of that connection. It was a behavior, a consolation; we wanted one another’s voice. In the course of the opera’s intermissions, I might climb the steps from the basement to discover a non-public place to name him, leaving the sounds of the opera behind. Cellphone to my ear, my ex and I might talk about music, maestros, colleagues.
A couple of years later, we talked about Al and Tipper Gore, who had simply introduced their separation. “It’s unhappy,” I mentioned. “They had been married 40 years. However I suppose it’s sadder to remain married and be sad.”
